Snape the Matchmaker
by CayleighSnow
Summary: Snape is given the impossible task of matchmaking Draco and Hermione! Romantic mayhem insues. Pairings: Snape/himself, Draco/Hermione, and Ron/Luna.
1. PrologueChocolate Chip

Severus Snape was baking cookies with the house elves for Dumbledore.

It may seem unlikely (Ok, _very_ unlikely) for Snape to be making cookies, out of all things. But Dumbledore asked him to, and Snape would do anything for Dumbledore.

Snape served Dumbledore a plate of cookies.

"Thank you, Severus," Dumbledore said as he bit into a scrumptious delight, "Mmm…chocolate chip. Would you like to join me?"

Snape sat down and apathetically ate the cookies as the house elves handed them to him.

"Severus," Dumbledore said, "I put all my trust in you. I have a special task that needs to be done, and only you can carry it out."

Whenever Dumbledore said something like that, Snape knew it was bad news.

Dumbledore continued, "You may be aware that there is much tension between the houses…."

Snape rolled his eyes and stuffed another cookie into his mouth.

"It is time for CHANGE!" Dumbledore exclaimed as he pounded his fist on the table. Snape jumped up in surprise.

"Starting with Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger!"

Snape gave him a blank look, "Why?"

Dumbledore explained, "Simple. They hate each other."

"That still doesn't make any sense," Snape insisted.

Dumbledore stroked his beard, "When have I ever made sense?"

"Good point."

Snape cleared his throat, "But what do Draco and Ms. Granger have to do with house unity?"

"Well…" Dumbledore said, "They are the brightest students in their houses so I thought they would be a perfect couple."

Dumbledore had an evil glint in his eye.

_What? Why does he look like that? It's scaring me…_ Snape was frightened.

"So…Get to it!" Dumbledore exclaimed and clapped in enthusiasm.

_He is like an overgrown cheerleader,_ Snape thought as a scowl appeared on his face.

Then Dumbledore appeared inches before his face, "Don't scowl, your face will get stuck like that! Good night, Severus!"


	2. Ch1Love Potion 9

Snape was pacing back and forth in the Potions classroom.

_What do I do? How do I do this? Why do I even listen to that crazy old man?_

Snape sighed, trying to think up a strategy.

_How do I make two bitter enemies FALL IN LOVE?!?_

Then Snape had an epiphany! It was as if a light bulb appeared over his head.

_This could be very easy. A love spell could work, even if they were banned in 1582._

Snape shrugged _Oh well. If something bad happens, it's Dumbledore's fault._

_I better start getting ready for class. My earliest students will be here soon._

Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley then burst into the classroom.

"I told you, Ronald!" Hermione yelled, "American football has nothing to do with tuna!"

"But Quiddich is so much better!" Ron yelled back.

More students were filing in. Ron took his seat next to Harry, and Hermione sat at the desk right next to them. Ron and Hermione were still glaring when they sat down.

Snape cleared his throat, and the class became silent.

"Turn to page five hundred forty. Follow the written directions and make the healing potion. It should be a greenish color when done correctly."

The students frantically assembled the ingredients they needed, except for Hermione, who was already prepared.

At the end of the class period, Snape went around the room and checked the potions.

When Snape made his way to Ron's bubbling potion, a sweet smell assaulted his sensitive nostrils.

"What is that foul stench?" Snape asked.

"Actually, Professor," said Hermione, "It smells quite nice. Like roses."

"I would also like to point out," continued Snape, "That your potion is _pink._ It's supposed to be green."

Suddenly a girl emerged from the back of the room.

She was enthralled by Ron's potion.

"Oh, look, Ron!" she said, "You made perfume!"

She dipped her fingers in the potion and splashed Snape with it. Snape closed his eyes as a burning pain arose in his eyeballs.

When Snape opened his eyes, he sees his reflection looming in front of his face.

"You smell pretty!" Luna exclaimed, holding a compact mirror in front of him.

An expression unlike any other formed on Snape's face. He tilted his head, and his features softened with longing. He grabbed the mirror to look at his face with more intensity.

"What's wrong with Snape?" Blaise said from the back of the room.

"No…is he smiling?"

Distracted by the big shiny rings she was wearing, the expression on Snape's face went unnoticed by Luna.

"Do you like my rings, Ron? I put a sparkling charm on them!."

Then she turned to look at him, and their eyes met. Luna grinned and tilted her head.

"You have pretty eyes, Ron," she said.

Ron blushed.

Luna giggled, "You look like a tomato!"

This made Ron blush an even deeper red.

"Professor," said Hermione, bringing all of them back down to Earth, "Are you going to give Luna back her mirror?"

Snape, still staring at his reflection, said "Detention, Granger."

Then he remembered his task.

_Hmmm….this could work._

"Draco, you also have detention!"

Draco, who peacefully had his head on his desk, jolted up.

"What did I do!?"

"You had your head down. Detention!"


End file.
